Secret Pal - Round 2

One of the fun things about being involved in the Yahoo! Groups is the friendships that are being made among people all over the world who will be sharing the most joyous day of our lives together. Something that my group is doing to pass the time is exchanging gifts with a secret pal. Every month, a new package arrives at my doorstep filled with goodies for me and for Maya. This month, we started round 2. We thought that round 1 would take us up through referrals, but with the delay - it just didn't.

So...for this month, I received these two precious picture frames with ladybugs. Oh - and a bag of Reese's peanut butter eggs, but I can't show you those because - well - they're gone!

I'm getting off the roller coaster...

You see that roller coaster in the front - the nice and calm one? That, my friends, is the only roller coaster that I was allowed on until I was, oh - 12 or so. Why? Cuz I was (and still am) short! The one in the back - well, that is the kind of (emotional) roller coaster that I've been riding for the past three months of this adoption process.

Up until last Saturday, I allowed myself to spend too much time checking in with a few adoption related Yahoo! Groups. While I love being able to go through this process with others who know exaclty how it feels to wait..and wait...and wait for the referral that seems like it's never going to come, the problem with being involved is the constant speculation, rumor, guesstimating on when we will finally get our referrals and hold our babies in our arms. Not a bad thing in theory - but when hundreds of people are kept in this holding pattern for god-knows-how-long, well..the depression, the heartache, and the general crabiness comes out (myself included).

So - I've stepped off the roller-coaster. I'm done finding out how co-dependant I really can be. I will check in from time to time just to make sure that I'm not missing out on the "big" news - but I simply cannot continue to spend hours every week (and I'm NOT exaggerating!) getting wrapped up in this wait.

Bottom line - I have to wait - and I WILL wait - for as long as they make me wait - just so long as the end result is my baby girl coming home!

A very sad daffodil - for a very sad girl. It's been hard to wait - and even harder since the daffodils have arrived. Late last fall, while my Dad and I were planting a ton o' bulbs for a pretty little garden of flowers this spring, I commented that we would probably be IN China or on our way TO China by the time these flowers arrived. It is only fitting that the daffodils arrived - and then buried their heads in the snow - while I am sitting and waiting (and waiting..and waiting) to go to China.